Cocktails and Dreams by Whynot(fatallyobsessed)

Cocktails & Dreams by Whynot (fatallyobsessed) on FanFiction.net

Cocktails & Dreams by Whynot (fatallyobsessed) on Twilighted.net

SOOOOOO…

It’s Monday.

Since last week I did so many fics with kinda sorta depressing themes…

THIS WEEK is COMEDY WEEK!

SO, Funny Fic week…ummmmm…

In honor of funny fic week, I will do my damndest to NOT be funny. I will seriously discuss the Monday’s fic and talk about the integrity of beauty of it.

Oh fuck this noise!

I cant keep a straight face thinking about this story!!

SO WHY did I start reading it? I mean, the title alone brings to mind Tom cruise before he went CooCoo for cocoa puffs in that bar movie where he juggled bottles and shit.

SO WHY should you read the story? WELL let’s look at the first few lines of the story SHALL WE??

“Mmmmmm…”

“Touch me there…yeah, right there…”

“Uuhhnnngg…”

Intrigued? I know I am. I was all hot and bothered just reading that shit imagine what happens when you find out WHO is having so much fun.

I’ll give you a couple of guesses ! So wanna know WHY ELSE you should read this story??    Do you? Huh? Do ya?

Shower sex

Couch sex

Wacking off ol Eddiekins in the shower

COUCH SEX

Bed sex

Hot drunk New Years Eve forgot who I fucked sex

GUITAR playing eddie on the couch

A BELLA THAT IS SNARKY AND NOT A CLUMSY FOOL

Her word vomit SLAYS ME!

OK, enough of my bullshit.

So I chatted with the author, Autumn.  She is a funny chica, I tells you!  And one thing she and I have in common (one of many) is a LOVE of REAL SEX.

YUPPERS, we love the bumping uglies.

The sex in this story is the kinda sex we can all have without being gymnasts who memorized the Kama Sutra. We can ALL have this kinda sex and THAT my dears is what makes is so fuck hawt!!

SO let’s listen to what Autumn had to say when me in my investigative journalist style asked her the hard hitting questions!!

Where did you get the idea for this story?

You know the part of the story where Alice tells Bella that Edward had the team captain ask her and her friends to the party?  Yeah, that was my friend telling me that, but it just happened last year.  How freakin’ clueless could I be?  LOL

What was your inspiration?

Hot Edward in a singlet and shorts.  Yeah…  And the story cited above.  Thinking about that made me remember how fun college was, and to reminisce about young adulthood.  I had a fun group of friends, and a wild life!

Is there anything you would want readers to know specifically ?

THIS IS NOT RELATED TO THE MOVIE ‘COCKTAIL’!  I just suck at titles…

Why should readers read your story?

It’s firmly based in reality, but boosted by Edwardly goodness.  I likes the funny and the citrusy, but they’ve got to be believable in real life.  Over the top sex doesn’t interest me – in fact, it makes me roll my eyes and giggle.  Real sex is WAAAYY hotter!

NOW we get to some down and DIRTY questions…

Did any of these things happen in real life?

*Laughs*  Fuck, yes!  (Oops!  Can I cuss in here?  If not, change that to heck ;D) 

PSHAW have you not talked to me?? DUH of course you can curse here!

The whole college section is very real, as are a lot of the stories Bella and Jasper tell on Bella.  And Bella’s worst word vomit… yeah.  I probably said it.   This isn’t a Mary Sue story, though, because Bella is most definitely NOT me.  I’m way meaner!

Is there a real couchward and does he have a brother or close cousin who is willing to come play with me in MY shower ? Hell for him I would even clean the bathroom!

Holy fuck, wouldn’t THAT be nice?  All from my head, with a strong dose of inspiration form the fuckgod, Robert Thomas Pattinson.  What I wouldn’t do for and to that man could be inscribed on an atom.  A lot of the description of the first incident of Couchward came from the girls on the thread.  I threw out the situation and asked what they’d want to see.  Those girls have GOOOOOD imaginations!  I put their requests together to create Couchward.

Why Physical therapy?

Aren’t you fucking SICK of clumsy Bella?  Most Bellas I’d like to hit in the head with a roll of quarters in a sock anyway, but that cliché drives me nuts!  I put her as far from that as I believably could, with something I know something about.

What is with the boats and shit? Were you a Coxswain or whatever? (A coxswain is the loud mouth at the front of the boat that tells them to “stroke”. Yeah, I could SOOO have that job!)

Too tall to cox, I’m afraid.  Those people are TINY!  I did row in college, though, and I loved it.  It works every muscle from the neck to the ankles, and who wouldn’t like looking at perfectly developed men in tanks and shorts?

Ummm, I know the answer to this, but it has to go in the interview anyways.

Who is your Bella?

*Laughs*  You only asked this because you know the answer!  At first, I had sort of a vague, Sandra Bullock-ish girl in mind, but I gradually realized that I had our own dear Shannie’s sweet face in my mind.  Her more innocent look (remember, I said LOOK) fit my Bella better.  And she doesn’t mind her face getting to do all the things it does with my Robward, anyway!

No SHIT she is one lucky fucking HOOR I wish I had an author friend who would write me as a Bella damnit..

BTW, if anyone is interested, my Jasper is more Ryan Gosling, my Emmett is more Paul Teutel, Jr., Alice is the girl from Amelie, and Rosalie is more like a young Kim Basinger.  Edward is a no-brainer, of course! J

OMG OMG OMG OMG Ryan Gosling as Jasper THAT is some fuckhawt casting choice there I totally can see him being the shit that Jasper is in this story LOOOOOOOVVVEEEE IT

So yeah I know Shannies has many things to add to this lovely tale so I will shut the Fuck up and let her take it FROM HERE:

Oooo…does that mean I get to say something?  Fo reals?! I’m stoked!  I must say…that Autumn is a fantastic writer and actually, just a fantastic person in general.  I read C&D because I LOVED Forget Her and I LOVE Autumn.  She is The AWESOME.  And I totally did a fangirl squeal when I found out the Bella thing. LOL!  It’s a great story!  It will make you laugh out loud.  I speak the truth.

So go read it!!!

K…Shannies….OUT!

NEXT TIME:

Wednesday’s fic, BTW, is The Fan by Pears13

It will be Fan appreciation day here at old Blog so dust off your B ball hats and CUM early(I mean really why wait? that is for the girls NOT the guys but I doubt I have any male readers!)  the first 1000 visitors get a bobble head doll!!